Exams are over, it's time for mindless television.

Hey guys, guess who's back? After a very long and exhausting exam period, consisting of awfully late nights, daily visits to the pita man in redpath (I always hope for the brown man, the white man just does not know how to properly secure the pita's ingredients), countless quarters spent on chocolate covered almonds at the 25 cent treat machine and about one hundred unnecessary flex dollars, I am back. The one good thing about exams, besides them being a thing a of the past, is the fact that you get to suffer with your friends. I find that exams even bring friends closer together, what with all the tears, anxiety, coffee (monster cookie) breaks and stress. But, now that exams are over, I get to spend time with the people I really care about. No, I'm not talking about my roommate Meredith, who i barely saw during exams, or my family, or Hannah at the super dep, I am referring to the really important people in my life, the people who I depend on for happiness, laughter, insightful conversation, enlightenment, and a fresh perspective on life. I am talking about the cast of the Hills, the City and Gossip Girl- just your usual television characters/real people (some not so real, ahem, Heidi Montag, the wonder woman of plastic) one would expect a third year McGill student to form a somewhat obsessive bond with. Anyways, life just got so much better when the Hills, the City and Gossip Girl became a part of my life again. The Hills has obviously reached new heights this season. Kristin is back and being kristin-y as ever (and I never realized how manly her voice was) and Heidi is also back, new but-not-so-improved. The girl looks like a circus freak. Her breasts are bigger than the moon, she can't even move her face, courtesy of her chin job, nose job revision (actually?), her eyebrow life (which has made her look like she is always really shocked about something), and the fat she had injected into her cheek. She openly admitted to wanting to look like Barbie and also confessed her dream of having even bigger breast, size H to be specific (H for Heidi). Anyways, her new name is Hidi, for hideous. She looks so awful that her own mother, who is supposed to love her unconditionally, couldn't even bare the site of her daughter's new look. My favorite part about the whole Heidi Montag makeover, however, is the frail state in which the operations left her body. Whenever she ventures out of her L.A. bungalow to go show off her new bod and "friends" go to hug her, Heidi, immediately pulls back and mumbles (because that's all her face will allow her to do), "oh, be gentle- surgery hug!" Surgery hug? SURGERY HUG? Who the hell would want to hug her in the first place? The girl looks so scary, and god forbid she start to cry in front of small children- her face does this weird morphing thing whenever she starts to cry; it doesn't really move while she's crying, it sort of just slowly goes into this weird squished version of her already terrifying face. Anyways, enough about Hidi. Her hubby, Spencer Pratt, is also losing it...or shall I say, his "marbles." He has reason to believe that the world owes him everything and that no one is worthy of his trust, friendship or sanity. He has become obsessed with crystals that he believes will ward off all evil spirits of downtown L.A. Unfortunately for him, he really is not getting the memo that what these crystals are actually doing are making him look like a gypsy at a flea market wearing way too much jewelery, as well as Chewbacca with his new facial hair. The Hills tell a sad story of a group of very sad people and their very sad lives- and I couldn't thank MTV more for polluting my brain with their nonsense every Tuesday night.