Mean Girls: Best Movie Ever

The movie "Mean Girls," starring lifetime loser Lindsay Lohan, Rachel McAdams and the wonderfully witty Tina Fey, is what I like to call a silent masterpiece. This movie is my all-time favourite- I literally can watch it over and over again. The reason for which I call it a silent masterpiece is because it really does not receive as much credit as it should. Because the movie has "girls" in the title, many males are hesitant to watch the movie, or simply do not find any immediate appeal due to the title. For those who choose to pop a copy of "Mean Girls" into their dvd player, however, soon realize that this is the best movie ever made. Reason #1 for which the movie is amazing: it is accurate. Girls are absolute bitches and this movie depicts young females in a high school environment almost too perfectly. The girls in the movie are cruel, catty and cold. The new girl in school- Kady (Lindsay Lohan)- finds herself eating lunch alone in a washroom stall after suffering from an embarrassing incident in the school cafeteria- no one wanted to sit with her- even the band freaks wouldn't invite her to take a seat at their table. This kind of stuff actually happens. I found myself in the exact same position after urinating on a police officer at a school dance after a few too many Mike's Hard Lemonades. It was my first time drinking and needless to say, my behavior landed me a three day suspension. Going back to school was terrifying- I just could not face Burlington Central High School's student body after pulling a stunt like that. Thus, I made my friends eat lunch with me in the third floor washroom for the next few weeks until things calmed down and some new scandal entered the scene. We didn't eat in the stalls of the washroom, however, that is just downright unsanitary. The point is that girls in high school can be horrible- and if you're not in the cool crowd, then fuck, you're screwed. Reason #2 for which this movie is amazing: it is extremely offensive. Tina Fey's script has the characters dropping racial bombs, gay bombs and lines that the Family Channel would never dream of airing. I bring up the Family Channel because often "Mean Girls" is categorized as a young teen flick but that categorization could not be more far off. "Mean Girls" is no "John Tucker Must Die," "Freaky Friday" or "Crossroads" taking on the challenges of adolescent angst and first kisses; "Mean Girl" deals with all that bullshit but in a way that can only be enjoyed by those who possess an actual IQ. When I was thirteen and saw the movie I did not nearly enjoy it as much as I did five years later. This movie is on an entirely different level than your average teen movie. Thirteen year-olds cannot appreciate the humor of a gym teacher having an affair with two students of his, who both happen to be Asian twin sisters who think they are ghetto fab. Thirteen year-olds cannot appreciate the humour of Damien, the token fat gay guy, seriously singing "Beautiful" by Christina Aguilera at the annual Christmas Pageant. Thirteen year-olds cannot appreciate the humor in Karen suggesting a trip to Taco Bell to cheer Regina up- which Regina furiously refuses because of the fact that she's on an all-carb diet. See what I mean? Reason #3 for which "Mean Girls" is amazing is related to what I was just discussing- all the small, masked humor that really can only be recognized and appreciated by those who aren't sensitive and enjoy a little offense here and there (moi.) My favorite example to use to explain this closeted humour within the film that makes it so sensational is the scene in the hallway after a gym class at school. Kady and her lesbian-friend, Janis, attempt to sabotage Queen Bee Regina George by cutting the nipples out of her shirt while she is busy in gym class. The plan backfires and the following scene depicts female students strolling the halls modeling tops and shirts with the nipples of their shirts also cut out. One girl in particular is given a screen shot- she's ugly, in a wheelchair and wearing a shirt that says "Lucky Girl." I had to explain to someone why that was funny. Let me repeat: I had to explain why a paraplegic wearing a shirt that says "Lucky Girl" was funny- it literally broke my heart. I will agree that the joke is cruel but it is also wildly hilarious. The film, with its twisted plots of gossip, cat fights, cheating, lying, student/teacher affairs, diet sabotage and even incest (Karen repeatedly tries to hook up with her first cousin Jason), "Mean Girls" is simply the best.