Rihanna's Swollen Face Leads to Loose Box: A Lyrical Analysis of "Rude Boy"

Alright, so, as everyone knows Rihanna's loving boyfriend Chris Brown beat the shit out of her just over a year ago. After being a no-show at the Grammy's, the media blew up and rumors were spreading like HIV at a male YMCA. The truth soon came out that pop sensation Rihanna had suffered from a serious case of domestic violence and abuse from boo Chris Brown. Rihanna, despite the hardships she was forced to endure and the amount of Mac foundation she had to wear to conceal those big, dark, nasty bruises on her face, was able to rally and came out of the whole ordeal on top- literally ON TOP. The lyrics of her latest hit single "Rude Boy" reveal something very different than the attitude of a young woman who was recently beat to bits by her lover. "Rude Boy" is literally Rihanna's 'fuck me now anthem.' Her heart may be out of commission but her box certainly is not. She opens the song with "Come here rude boy, boy, can you get it up? Come here rude boy, boy, is you big enough?" First things first, Rihanna clearly did not graduate high school, because that sentence just does not make any grammatical sense whatsoever- ARE you big enough would be the correct way of saying such an elegant sentence, Rihanna. She must have been getting filled the day this lesson was being taught at school. Secondly, she is being way too forward about wanting to get banged, I mean she already got banged out, she should probably take things a little slower. Thirdly, the secret is out- Rihanna loves a big disco stick- she likes a nice big penis to pleasure her and what a great way to give a shout out to all those 'big enough' penises out there than through music?! The song only gets more promiscuous as we shift from the opening chorus to the first verse: "Tonight I'mma let you be a rider, Giddy Up, giddy up, giddy up babe." Well. This line can be interpreted in many ways depending on the extent of one's imagination, but my initial interpretation is pretty clear: Rihanna is looking for some serious sexual healing. Rihanna is choosing to deal with the turmoil, emotional and physical pain caused from the boyfriend beats in a very curious way. Whereas the majority of women probably seek the shelter and protection away from men after suffering any type of domestic violence, Rihanna is looking to get filled and by something big, something that can 'giddy up'- whatever that is even supposed to mean. The next selection of lyrics I would like to examine are "Buckle up, I'mma give it to you stronger, Hands up, we can go a little longer." Hmmm, so we have 'giddy up' and now 'buckle up.' This is a very interesting combination of sexual commands. It appears that Rihanna is interested in creating an environment in which one get off based on the idea of a horse and an automobile. I'm finding it very difficult to conjure up something kinky and erotic that deals with both horses AND cars, but hey, who knows what Rihanna was thinking- clearly she has suffered one too many blows to the head.... By releasing this song, which by the way, is an amazing song to exercise to (the BEAT is fist-pump worthy), Rihanna is sending out the wrong message. Instead of promoting women's rights or donating money to some women's shelter, Rihanna is positioning herself in the eyes of the media, young girls, horny boys and lewd men with her legs wide open and ready for business. Although I do credit Rihanna for being able to get back on her feet and continue to release songs, I am somewhat turned off and confused by her sudden longing for yet another rude boy. I mean, wasn't Chris rude enough?